Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have fence marks all over my body
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
