walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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