I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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