that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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