I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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