Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
