Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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