Yo dont text me then not text me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
