mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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