my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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