I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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