No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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