i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
