He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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