i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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