How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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