i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
