Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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