we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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