Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
