I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize