"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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