dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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