Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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