So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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