I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize