i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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