do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize