So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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