I heard we made out
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
