We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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