Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
