her vagine was all disorganized.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
