i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize