I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
