STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
