Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
