she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
