Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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