he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
