We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
