he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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