i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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