There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
