you win again, gameday.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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