smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
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were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
only you would photoshop your dick
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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