Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
