She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
