party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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