Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
