you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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