Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
