I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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