omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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