just come out here and I will go home with you...
My balls are so social today.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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