Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
