i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize