K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
