Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
this is an emotional support booty call
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
