Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i think my cat just said my name.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
