Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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