My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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