Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
